The Groom in the 21st Century: His Day Too

The groom sometimes can feel like a background player on his wedding day.  At Sterling Photography International, we do not want the groom to be relegated to the level of a “prop.”

We have seen photographers treat the groom with no more attention then if he were part of the setting.  However, Sterling is especially attuned to the groom in spite of the fact common pop culture underplays his role.

It’s All About the Bride’s Special Day?  No, It’s About the Couple’s Day!

At Sterling Photography we often wonder if people forget that the wedding day is supposed to be about the couple, as in two people.  That means it’s the Groom’s Special Day Too.

However, how many magazines headline articles are about the Groom’s Special Day?  Not too many…

So in this blog, we are going to highlight the groom’s role with images of our special groom, Dylan.  Then, we will be showing special moments of his wedding day.  Plus we are bringing you potential grooms some wonderful tips on how to help your bride plan for the Big Day.

As we see it, most grooms are now stepping out of the shadows to be as part of the planning of the wedding day, as well as the enjoyment of the moments.   And yet, many young photographers are not trained to observe the groom.  Thus, some brides end up with those “cookie cutter” pictures that underplay the groom’s part in the day.

Breaking the Mold:  Seeing the Groom

For a photographer, catching special moments of the groom on the Big Day can be as significant as capturing distinctive moments with the bride.  And we are sure that his portraits and candid images, even the goofy ones, will be treasures of the heart for the bride.

The Sterling Groom Presents:  How to be the Bride’s Hero

We do not have original answers as to why some grooms become more involved in the planning of the wedding. However, we know some our some answers from the experts. Likewise, many Sterling grooms have supported their bride’s efforts to create a glorious wedding day event.

We are also aware that sometimes a guy just does not know how to cope with wedding preparations. He wants to help, but picking out flowers or table linens might not be his thing. Find more ideas below:

Shared Planning and Anticipation Heighten the Joy in the Couples Celebration

We have seen many grooms come up with other helpful ideas—perhaps more helpful ways– to support the busy bride.

Plus as grooms begin to claim their own place in the helping plan the day, help has arrived.  From Martha Stuart to the New York Times, there are lots of experts in the wedding world with suggestions of how the groom can help the bride plan the day. …even if shopping for favors is not his thing.

At least, with the ideas below in mind, a groom will know how to help create the wedding day. And sometimes investing time and energy to help prepare it heightens the groom’s enjoyment of His Special Day.

Possible Groom Job 1:  Help Your Bride Make a List of Guests’ Addresses for Invitations

Usually, an email address is all you need in today’s life, but wedding invitations are the exception.  It might seem obnoxious, but in the world of weddings, physical addresses are a formal “must-have.”  We know a groom, who, with the help of many phone calls and texts surprised his bride with a list.

There’s also an app for that, to make your job easier.  Check out the possibilities at Postable.   Likewise, you might investigate this same Ap to assist in collecting information for the Thank You Cards, according to Martha Stewart.

Possible Groom Job 2:  Take Care of Booking the Honeymoon

If you love gorgeous beaches, history, and romance, let Sterling make planning the honeymoon easy for you.  He even has a package that includes the Jamaican honeymoon when you book his photography.  Whatever your destination, this is one facet of the wedding you can take care of as a surprise for your bride.

Possible Groom Job 3:   Groom Make Great Hosts–Figure out how to Accommodate the Guests

This is especially important if you are planning a destination wedding.  Check out the hotels in the vicinity of your wedding venue.  Give the guests options of nearby spots to stay at different price points.  Be sure to validate directions to the venue with proper addresses.

Best Groom Job in the World 4:  Being “There” for the Bride: “Stand By Me”

From the online magazine One Fine Day, a wedding guide for UK couples, we have gleaned some psychological tips for the new groom.

Insight A:  “While lots of grooms are eager to be hands-on, many brides can find it hard to let go and share the load.”  Sterling has often seen that this often happens to busy grooms who are happy to let the partner assume all the work.  Trust Sterling, it is much better if you share the load or show great interest in her plans.

Although the traditional view is for the bride to take the lead in all the plans, many modern grooms are enjoying their new roles in co-planning the wedding day.

• Insight B:  But couples should not feel like the bride has to do it all.

• Insight C: Since a wedding is about becoming a couple, it is important that both of you make time to work together on some aspects of the special day.

Many Grooms, Too Busy for “Wedding-Related Jobs,” Have Shown Frazzled Brides Psychological Support

Often young couples come to Sterling for wedding advice beyond photography.  On these occasions, he is apt to explain a little practical psychology to the groom.

First:  Help your Fiancee Prioritize Wedding Tasks

It seems to be very manly to work on a list of pragmatic deal-makers and deal-breakers.  You might see her mind
and energy fracturing in a thousand little details.

“How can you,” a simple, busy groom, “help her from spiraling into bridezilla territory?”  Here’s the soothing magic of the masculine style thought process:  “Work with her on a list of non-negotiable items and knock those off first, everything else will fall into place.”

Second:  Step up to the Plate!

So if you can’t be there for all the appointments, interviews and meetings, choose a few jobs – like packaging favors (“Ew!”), planning menus (Yum-mm!), or selecting music  (“Hmm-mm.”).  And dedicate some serious time and effort to them.  It will be worth the effort when you enjoy her gratitude and delight as she praises you for your good work on your projects.

Third:  Don’t Be Wishy-Washy

We advise grooms to give opinions when brides ask for them.  Just throw the “whatever you want” comments out of your vocabulary.

Fourth: Be Her Sounding Board and Listen, Let Her Rant

Grooms, prepare!  The bride will be in stressful situations during wedding planning and preparations.  Understand that if a vendor cancels, the flowers are unavailable, every favor is too expensive, or the weather starts looking gloomy, your normally sweet-natured fiancée might get weepy or testy.  “She might need to vent.  Let her.  Talk with her because “You don’t want her to save that stress for later…”  And if all else fails, hold her in your arms and kiss her!

Fifth:  Take on Some Non-wedding tasks

So, while the bride is taking care of all the wedding details, the groom might help by simple everyday tasks like making dinner or doing the laundry.  Those tasks might not thrill most grooms, but of course, they might be preferable to puzzling over the seating arrangements or types of blooms in boutonnieres.  And, trust us, she will notice what you have done and why you did it.

And Sterling says, “However the couple divides up the duties, the important point is to plan some joy-filled moments together.  You are creating a day you both will enjoy.  Happy wedding planning often leads to happy images from your Special Day as a couple.